Junkie Love

Ziggy and Doreen  

7

 

Late one night, a couple months after that last sex with Amy, Doreen came into my bedroom. I was awake wandering among concepts from William James’ Varieties of Religious Experiences, which I had just turned out the light on. My bedroom, between the kitchen and the bathroom, had two walls of damp concrete and clothes hanging from pipes.

“You awake honey?” she asked tentatively.

Little of the street light that came through the front window made it as far as my room. I could just make out her silhouette.

“Yeah!”

“Where are ya honey?”

“Over here.”

“Listen, Ziggy went out. I think he’s gonna be gone all night and I’m kinda lonely. D’ya think I could get in bed with you?”

“Sure!!”

“Where’s the light, baby?”

“Here, I’ll get it.”

I got out of bed and crossed barefoot to the middle of the cold concrete floor and swatted the darkness for the string hanging from the bare bulb. Finally I grabbed it and yanked dim light into the room.

She was standing closer than I realized, wearing only black bikini panties and a bra, both several sizes too small. I was wearing only underpants stretched of course by an erection (my sidekick).

She looked down at it and back up with a bashful, hopeful smile . Then she stepped toward me and stopped, looking up, expectant. I looked at her body. Most of my knowledge of the female body had come from Playboy and Amy.

Doreen’s flesh was gray, doughy, and lumpy, pinched into rolls by the underwear. Little mounds protruded through the grid work of the panties. Her legs had several large abscesses, usually just black and blue pot holes in the flesh, but in the dingy light of the room, they were filled with what seemed a bottomless shadow. Even the collapsed veins in her arms seemed to catch shadow.

“What’s wrong honey?”

“Uh…”

“Doncha… Doncha wanna…?”

“Uh, I guess I don’t, uh… feel like it… tonight…”

She was surprised, then disappointed, and then, in her expression of weary resignation,I caught a jolting glimpse of the desolation of her life. My hard-on wilted. I looked down at it and then she did too.

“Uh, I have to get up early for work too…” I said.

“Oh…O.K,” she said and then turned around and walked slowly out of the room.